What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

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2

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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How did the terrorist die? He flew a plane into a twin tower

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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