What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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sadf

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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