Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

Jacob Edwards has friends.

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

a chinese man pays the full price

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...