Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many babies can you breast feed? 2

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

class is canceled. My professor died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops