A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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jd and zach loves vigina

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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