What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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What happened when a black lady sat in the front on a bus? She didn't vomit because she could see the road, which helped with her motion sickness. Also the driver got in a better mood because he had company, and the lady was a pleasant person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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