Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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