- Anti Joke

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

Nero, sure you are okay?

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

salad days!

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??