Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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The Princess is in another castle

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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