What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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Turkey Balls

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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