Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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Gordon Brown smiles.

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i have no freinds on facebook.... overated

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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