What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Poker face

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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You sick fiend

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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Click here to end the world.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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