I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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