What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

thumb_up thumb_down +3

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I? Everett

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops