Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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hers a joke... japanese people

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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