What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man? Rob

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

thumb_up thumb_down +7

knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Flowers are colors Love me

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between males and females? fe

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops