What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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guess what>? your mum lol

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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hi hi stop! no yes no no stop no grr lol i will get you back not if i fool grrrrrrr BOOM BOOMBOTH:GRRR BOOM BOOM lol lol both:grrrr THE END BY STICK SMOKER

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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