What's long and black? A line at KFC.

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

Roses are red Im adopted

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

read this sentence again.

Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

whats gay and american? a gay american

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

Knock knock Fuck off!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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