"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

What do you call two dog? dogs

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

A seal walks into a club.

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

why did you poop because you are a poop

Poker? I barely even know her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...