There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

thumb_up thumb_down -32

whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

To momma's missing so many teeth it looks like her tongues in jail

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Non-Anti-Joke.com!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops