If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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