- Anti Joke

what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

I was raped the other day... I still did more work than the bitch

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

Knock Knock. Shut up.

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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