What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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