How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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