How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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whats long and black? a baton

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops