What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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