A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

Roses are red, yup.

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

White men's rights

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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