Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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ask me if im a door yes

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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