What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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I'm so punny.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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What is older than history?

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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A pope meets another one

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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