How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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What is life? Paul.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops