A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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Adam Thomas is homosexual

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Lol Nerochan, that was like totally awesome!

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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