"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

thumb_up thumb_down +21

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

thumb_up thumb_down +19

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops