What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops