"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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