- Anti Joke

What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

will you like this joke my sources say no

Knock, Knock No one was home.

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

hello

What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

What's the connection between Obama and Michael Jackson? They both want to be a girl.

How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

kk

what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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