what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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