Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

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Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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