Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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