Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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Women's rights.

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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bangers and mash?

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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