A wise man once said, "I am wise".

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

thumb_up thumb_down +34

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +32

EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

thumb_up thumb_down +30

knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops