A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops