why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

why did tyler detweiler walk across the street? he didnt he has ceribral palsey

There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

Why can't the little girl ride a bike? She has Osteoporosis and falling would shatter her bones.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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