What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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A house comes around the corner.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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