How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops