How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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Your mums a potato

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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