An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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What do you call a black jew? Overcooked

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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Why are pills white? Cause they work.

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Please ignore this statement.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops