two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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