What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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Poker face

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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You sick fiend

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why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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a black man, a jew, a mexican and an irish man walked into a bar and the bartender says: This is joke right??

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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