What's a foot long and slippery A dick

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

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a man jumps of a cliff and ..... hits the ground

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

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Women's rights.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A moose walks into a food store. He asks the lady working there where the potatoes are. She says "go down aisle 5.'' he goes down aisle 5 and there arent any potatoes

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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What's up with women with there jewlery it's there's best friend,but a black man's best friend is reames..

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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