While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops