A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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This isn't funny.

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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