Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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Dyslexics are teople poo

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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Poop...

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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