Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

Baby Seal walks into a club.

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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